Folks who're still hoping to see the Justice League on the big screen are, at this juncture, pining their hopes on a pair of miracles: Firstly, that the quintessentially Oscar/Felix team-up of Zack Snyder and Christopher Nolan yields a great film in "Man of Steel" (FWIW, people inside Warner Bros and various licensing-business sources have seen the film, and the current buzz is exceedingly positive - take that as you will) and that somehow Warner Bros then suddenly figures out how to also not screw-up new incarnations of Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, etc.
So... keep hoping, but don't keep expecting, basically.
Meanwhile, every WB department other than feature-films continues to make the "getting shit done" part of this look easy. To wit, someone got the bright idea to mix the fifty-something minutes of cutscene footage from "Lego Batman 2" with something like 15-20 minutes of new footage and release it on DVD as a movie. Well... better than nothing, right?
"Cars" sucks. Yes, I think there's more than a little merit to the notion that "movie people" who usually fall right in line behind Pixar wrote the film off early on because it was "tainted" by connection to the Nascar culture (and wasn't interested in taking the piss out of the sport and - more specifically - it's fanbase like "Talladega Nights") ...but "Cars" still sucks all the same. "Cars 2" sucks a lot less, but only by virtue of dropping the first film's pretense toward Pixar-level meaningfulness and instead wallowing in the cheap slapstick and groaner car-puns that are it's true nature.
Either way, it's all academic because the "Cars" brand is a moneymaking machine for Disney's toy licensing department; so we're getting spinoffs. The first of these is"Planes" - still canonically-tied to the "Cars" universe* but actually being made by regular-ol' Disney Animation. The trailer slipped out a month ago, but is back in the news now that instant-has-been Dane Cook has joined the voice cast: *I like to imagine that "Cars World" is either pre-historic Cybertron or an alternate-timeline sequel to "Wall*E" where it didn't work out for humanity and these are Wall*E and Eve's descendants.
The original "Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs" is one of the great overlooked comedies of the 21st Century: An absolutely hillarious scifi/comedy in the mold of "Ghostbusters" that just happens to be animated. The sequel has been similarly flying under the radar, but now there's a trailer (yes, it's a shitty Yahoo embed, sorry.)
Yup, looking good. My one concern would be that it looks like they've basically re-upped and expanded the finale of the first film into an entire movie, but the trailers for the original gave ZERO indication as to how brilliant the actual movie was so we'll see. Even if it doesn't quite measure up, the visual imagination on display in just the design of the food-creatures alone looks worth it.
There should be something unseemly about a profession comedy outfit Kickstarting a part of their next "bit," but despite their relative fame and legacies RiffTrax is actually a pretty small operation that generally does right by their fanbase; so I'm okay with this.
Anyway, here's the skinny: RiffTrax wants to make their next big theatrical simulcast event a live-riffing of "Twilight;" but since securing the rights just to live-broadcast (to say nothing of make fun of) a recent, major motion picture is a lot more expensive than, say, "Plan 9 From Outer Space," they've set up a KickStarter to get them to what is presumed to be Summit Entertainment's price (FWIW, it looks like they already exceeded the goal, but I could be reading that wrong.)
To my way of thinking, Summit would be crazy not to do this. "Twilight" was never going to be evergreen - it's shelf-life is exactly how long it takes a majority it's original fanbase of teenage girls to become cynical and jaded about romance (so, after dating maybe one or two actual teenage boys, really) - and if they're going to keep making money of these films they need them to become ironically-beloved touchstones of "what were we thinking back then!!??" pop-culture infamy as quickly as possible. The brazen, balletic stupidity of "Breaking Dawn: Part II" was a good first step; hooking up with RiffTrax officially would be a great second.
Via ComingSoon "The Amazing Spider-Man 2" puts me into a profoundly schizophrenic state: It's a movie I absolutely should be looking forward to (Spider-Man vs. Electro and Paul Giamatti as The Rhino? Awesome!) and by all right would sound like something worth getting psyched about - except it's a sequel to "The Amazing Spider-Man," which was fetid dog shit. And since most of the crew guilty of that previous film has come back for this one, well...
Problem is, that in-and-of itself doesn't actually prove anything. It's totally possible that Mark Webb has become a competent director of action, that Andrew Garfield has sat down and found a way to play Peter Parker that doesn't make me want to wring his neck and stab out my own eyes (in no particular order), that the asinine "Peter's Parents" backstory and all the other awful ideas and executions that plagued the first film have been purged from this one and that Rhino and Electro will show up looking an acting awesome (read: "like themselves," because they are both awesome) ...not likely, but possible. So until I start hearing concrete BAD stuff about this one, call me cautiously-optimistic. For now.
Case in point: This is a snap of the "new" costume for the sequel. LOVE the classic comic-style eyepieces. That's something. That's a concrete "like." Let's see the rest of it (and we will, shortly, as the film starts shooting today.)
UPDATED: The "uncropped" version of the poster-image at Empire shows more details, discussed after the jump.
Love, love, LOVE this poster of Ben Kingsley as "Iron Man 3's" big bad. The series has REALLY lacked for truly iconic heavies; and this guy just instantly looks like a great, unique, smug-yet-cool badass in the vintage-007 sense - EXACTLY the right tone. So fucking cool.
As mentioned above the uncropped still from which the poster was apparently made, viewable HERE on Empire, shows the detail that he's using an Iron Man helmet as a footrest and that blue decoration to his right is a bullet-ridden blue military helmet that he's using as an incense-holder.
The immediate assumption by a lot of folks is that this is Captain America's WWII-era helmet, which leads back to that Cap-esque tattoo on the back of the guy's neck in the first trailer. I'm sure the connection is intentional in terms of getting audiences talking (and probably making Marvel marketing very happy), but on closer inspection it looks like A.) there's actually another one up on the wall and B.) it looks to me more likely that they're U.N. Peackeeper helmets - probably "trophies" along with the dog-tags also decorating the place.
According to Variety, the Michael Bay produced "TMNT" reboot (which is back on after shutting down production allegedly because of script-suckage) has found it's April O'Neil... and its Megan Fox.
Two things that are odd about this (other than Bay casting the way an Onion parody report would imagine him casting): 1. Fox and Bay were supposed to have had a major falling-out, so this is surprising; and 2. This indicates they've possibly changed their screenplay significantly - in the version I read before this was "delayed," April and Casey Jones (the new versions male lead, a direct expy of Sam Witwicky) was a recent High School graduate. Megan Fox is many things, but passable as a teenager ain't one of them.
Please feel free to continue telling me how absurd it is to pre-judge this movie in the comments, though.
In lieu of gifts, well-wishers are asked to watch this ALL-NEW EPISODE of "Adventures of The Game OverThinker" - in which I respond to Warren Spector and David Cage's controversial DICE lectures - and then Tweet, Facebook and otherwise share it with as many others as you can :)
I actually like Paul Walker a lot. He looks like "the guy who comes with the picture frame," but he's perfectly willing to throw himself into the most absurd/stupid movie scenarios and hold a straight face - think Kyle McLachlan, only he never found "his" David Lynch.
Anyway, his new movie"Hours"looks like a prime example one of my absolute guiltiest pleasures: Spectacularly-unlikely "and THEN!!!!" story contrivances played as 100% straight melodrama - the sort of movie where watching the rest of the audience actually buy into the hacky, blatantly-manufactured suspense and "investment" is just an extra layer of joy:
Our premise? Walker's wife has just died from complications during childbirth, and said complications have left the baby alive but hooked up to a ventilator because she hasn't managed to breath on her own yet...
...and THEN!!! the hospital gets hit by Hurricane Katrina, flooding/half-wrecking the building and knocking out the electricity. There's a portable generator that'll keep the ventilator going...
...but THEN!!! it turns out the generator is broken, and will only hold a charge for three minutes at a time; leaving Walker stranded for however long it takes for help to arrive and battling weather, nature (please please please let there be crocodiles!!!), his own lack of sleep and armed-assault by Terrifying Looters... while stopping once every three minutes to wind-up his battery-powered infant! It's "Crank 3: But With A Baby This Time!" Bring it on.
Two observations about "The Host" (new trailer below):
1.) When was the last time we had a talent-mismatch as profound as Andrew Niccol directing a Stephenie Meyer adaptation? I can't think of a recent example as striking (no, not "Thor," smartasses) - it's like if David Lynch had decided to film the "Gor" series instead of "Dune."
2.) I really like that the aliens' "signature" is apparently that all their tools, vehicles, weapons, etc. have a mirrored-chrome finish.
Headline kinda says it all. This year's expo is happening October 4, 5 and 6 in Durham NC, go here for more details. I'm planning to be there, hope you are too :)
Nobody cares about "Identity Thief." Soderbergh's "Side Effects" is actually pretty damn good and worth seeing especially if you've missed the trailers, but didn't screen in time for review and is sort-of review-proof. So here's a video-essay on Stallone and Schwarzenegger's solo-"comeback" movies both bombing spectacularly.
BadassDigest reports on a persistent industry rumor that Warner Bros. may be hitting the brakes on their "Justice League" movie - which had previously been on a fast-track to get done in time to open alongside "Avengers 2" in 2015 - supposedly on account of Will Beale's screenplay terrible and a big reason why they haven't been able to interest a director yet.
So far, my favorite tertiary gossip to hit in the wake of this is the story that Ben Affleck turned down the job (that part was already widely reported) because Warners' "condition" was that they also wanted him to play the new Batman in the film. Depressingly, I totally buy that - it's clear that Warners has no idea what they're doing on this project, and whether it gets made and fails or dies completely in production people are going to write books about what a colossal fuck-up this has become.
At this point, the future of the DC Movieverse rests solely on the shoulders of Zack Snyder's "Man of Steel." If that film is good and/or becomes a major, major hit and suddenly Superman - THE lynchpin of the DCU and any hopeful JLA movie - is back on the pop-culture "kick-ass" radar; that could be the kind of invigorating game-changer that "Spider-Man" and "Iron Man" were.
Even still, if WB remains this skittish about "League" now I could easily imagine a scenario where they decide to play it safe and revive some version of the Batman/Superman project again ("It's like 'Justice League' but BETTER, because we don't have to worry about those hard-to-explain heroes with weird gimmicks like magic-rings, super-speed or a uterus!") as a kind of warm-up test.
Not content to continue making it's own mistakes, "The Amazing Spider-Man" franchise (which was actually looking a little better what with Paul Giamatti now officially playing The Rhino) is now intimating that it intends to make Sam Raimi's mistakes as well...
This picture of a metallic locker numbered "14" was Tweeted by ASM2 director Marc Webb yesterday, as part of what's become a succession of cryptic prop-image teases from the now-shooting film. The "Happy Birthday" seems to be in teference to the actor playing Harry Osborn in the movie, but the reason The Internet is flipping out over the image-proper is that in the Ultimate Spider-Man comics "Locker #14" is where Ultimate Peter Parker and Ultimate Eddie Brock found the Ultimate Symbiote Suit that wound up turning Ultimate Eddie Brock into Ultimate Venom. Ultimately.
I actually had to look that up, incidentally - I don't have any USM trades onhand, and to be frank the series never left much lasting impression on me. Hence why I never put a lot of stock into the various justifications for the stuff I hated in the first movie being "closer to the Ultimate universe." I know it is, folks - and it wasn't good there, either.
So... Venom again, possibly as a post-credits tease for Part 3.
Sigh.
For me, Venom belongs on that list of comics characters/stories like Doomsday and "Knightfall" that just aren't good but could maybe be gutted, skinned and reshaped into something halfway-useful for a movie. What has The Internet riled up about it in this case (apart from refusal to accept that simply seeing Spider-Man and his dull MacFarlane-era 90s foil tussel onscreen won't be the Greatest Moment Ever) is the connection to the "Happy Birthday!" tweet, which - if toy reeeeeeaaaaaaallllllllyyyyy stretch it - could be taken to imply that it's Harry Osboron, not Brock, that becomes Black Monsterface Spider-Man. I think that's how they went in the current, Marvel Movieverse tied-in "Ultimate Spider-Man" animated series, so there's that.
Incidentally, in the Ultimate comics the Ultimate Symbiote is tied into the Ultimate Research being done for Ultimate Oscorp by Ultimate Richard Parker; so this could be another indication that we're not abandoning that insipid plotline for these sequels. Ultimate Bummer.
That's it. I'm done. DONE. From now on I only have ONE ironclad rule for who should-be/would-be-good-if tapped to direct this or that "geek" franchise: A.B.A.Anyone But Abrams.
And yes, I'm including Michael Bay, Uwe Boll, Brett Ratner, Joel Schumacher, etc. I will gladly - happily, in fact - take memorably-awful "we'll learn from this" catatrophes over the continued mediocratization of the so-called 'nerd-cinema.' ENOUGH, at long last, with the "good-enough-ing" of what was for a moment there an immensely positive movement in blockbuster-level filmmaking.
You might recall that the first "G.I. Joe" movie was target of some trumped-up rage from the right-wing media for not being patriotic enough; because the team had gone international (it kinda always was, but don't tell them that) and were fighting made-up terrorists instead of Al Qaeda (also as-always, and also don't tell them that - "9/11 Changed EVERYTHING!" (TM) and it was apparently every action figure's duty to make paranoid assholes feel better about themselves by face-punching Muslim-looking people onscreen.)
Well, those guys should probably start their engines once again... Anyway, you might also recall that the film ended with the bad guys more-or-less winning: While the Joe's were busy blowing up an ice fortress, Cobra Commander had not created... er, himself and Destro; he'd also managed to replace the President of the United States with master-of-diguise Zartan. Now, in the sequel, COBRA has effectively seized control of the American government (and military) and is using that position to threaten other nations. So... yeah, the premise of "G.I. Joe: Retaliation"is G.I. Joe - formerly America's Reagan-era Exceptionalism Super-Squad - having to rescue the rest of planet from a renagade, war-mongering American military.
However good or bad this movie turns out to be... that - as the premise of a big-budget summer movie franchise that comes (literally) wrapped in the American flag - is pretty goddamn ballsy.
Now, to drive the point home, this new viral ad has hit the web: A near-perfect imitation of current U.S. Military recruitment ads (complete with what sounds like Keith David voiceover - you'd think his contract with the Army itself would specifically forbid stuff like this) ...but for COBRA, one of the all-time notorious fictional terrorist organizations:
Look... I'm not exactly expecting this movie to be a "Starship Troopers"-level brutal satire or anything, but there's a certain amount of risk in this, and risk deserves praise in this medium.
It's been quite a ride for Latino Review, a NY-based movie news/gossip site originally set up to focus on stories related to Latino stars and projects that has in addition become a go-to site for comic-book movie scoops thanks to the alarmingly-excellent digging skills of one "El Mayimbe," who claims to be acting (in part) out of a cheeky vendetta against Marvel Studios brass for pulling some shady business on a professional pal.
To date, probably their biggest scoop was breaking the subject of the post-credits teaser at the end of "Avengers" (and thus the principal over-arching antagonist of Marvel's "Phase 2" projects) before anyone else; but now they're claiming to have gone one bigger. Revealed tonight in a much-hyped video blog recorded in front of Marvel's NY offices, "El Mayimbe" purports to know A.) Marvel's long-term plans for an Avenger whose cinematic future hasn't been made 100% clear yet, B.) A major plot detail for "Avengers 2" and C.) The actual premise of "Avengers 3."
This should ALL be considered rumor, but highly reliable rumor (with the caveat that plans this long-term can always easily change) and thus possible MAJOR SPOILAGE. If you want to hear what the man has to say, hit the jump/keep reading. If not, turn back now:
Last chance not to read any further folks (assuming you haven't hit "play" yet)
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So... Mark Ruffalo did sign the Marvel-standard six-movie deal, and the big arc of the plan is apparently to take him through Movieverse versions of PLANET HULK and WORLD WAR HULK.
Short version: "Planet Hulk" was a year-long story arc wherein Hulk was blasted into deep space "for his own good" (and everyone else's) by The Illuminati, a secret brain-trust of powerful/connected Marvel denizens (Mr. Fantastic, Professor X, Namor, Black Bolt, Doctor Strange, Iron Man, etc) whom we come to learn are responsible for coordinating certain overly-coincidental big events throughout past Marvel continuity.
As the title implies, Hulk winds up on a semi-primitive planet where - for the first time - being an unstoppable giant monster is an asset; allowing him to become a sword-swinging, gladiator-fighting, army-leading, princess-wooing Conan-esque barbarian hero. "John Carter," except with The Hulk. Awesome. Meanwhile, back down on Earth, tragic circumstances and some more Illuminati meddling cause the "Marvel Civil War" event to unfold, leaving everything pretty well fractured for when Hulk turns up on Earth looking for payback with an alien army under his command for "World War Hulk."
Based on "El Mayimbe's" info, it would appear that "Illuminati shoot Hulk into space" is either planned as the finale or post-finale of "Avengers 2," with "Planet Hulk" presumably being a movie of it's own in "Phase 3" and events similar to "World War Hulk" being the starting premise for "Avengers 3."
Here's the part of this that makes MAJOR sense to me: Assuming for a moment that the movie-verse version of The Illuminati aren't just going to be the shadowy Council seen bossing S.H.I.E.L.D. around in "Avengers," that would be a bunch of new guys all showing up at once, named or otherwise. In the comics, the membership of The Illuminati included Tony Stark, Black Bolt (of "The Inhumans"), Doctor Strange and Namor - with Black Panther invited but abstaining. What do all those guys have in common, apart from Iron Man? They're all heavily rumored to have movies or movie-appearances happening as part of "Phase 2." How do you top revealing one big character at the end of Part 1? Revealing the next FIVE big characters at the end of Part 2.
Hulk as the antagonist of the third "Avengers?" color me intrigued, sure... but what really interests me is what "Planet Hulk" would be as a live-action movie of it's own (it was already turned into an above-average animated feature for DVD): In the comic, Hulk is in Hulk form for abut 95% of the story, and most of the alien characters are distinctly non-humanoid. Assuming they don't change that up so that Ruffalo would have more screentime as Banner... would this end up being an almost entirely-CGI-animated feature a'a "Avatar?"
This will be worth watching, especially since Marvel will probably spend a week or so denying all of this.
Problem is, that in-and-of itself doesn't actually prove anything. It's totally possible that Mark Webb has become a competent director of action, that Andrew Garfield has sat down and found a way to play Peter Parker that doesn't make me want to wring his neck and stab out my own eyes (in no particular order), that the asinine "Peter's Parents" backstory and all the other awful ideas and executions that plagued the first film have been purged from this one and that Rhino and Electro will show up looking an acting awesome (read: "like themselves," because they are both awesome) ...not likely, but possible. So until I start hearing concrete BAD stuff about this one, call me cautiously-optimistic. For now.
